repentance at a distance
last remnants of faith
doubt encoded every minute awake
haven’t seen my face in years
was it precaution? I think it’s fear
scaled up and congregated
gets my judgment, but scaled back and isolated
just means my fears unseat
the remaining ways you reach to me
holes in your hand ain’t there
hand on your side, I swear I’m scared
still say my prayers each night
yet the less I sleep the less I fight
pressed up against the truth
“I’m insufficiently devoted to you”
still grappling the facts
”my heart is black, I won't come back”
yet we repent.