benediction

every good night is a benediction
as I look into your eyes (which,
for now, I imagine because
You Are Not Here,
but hopefully someday
you will be)
and I say to you
all the wonderful things that come to mind

well, really I only say a subset of those things
because they are numerous
because you are infinitely wonderful

I am happy doing this,
happy like a child at play
or a big child at work
because there is nothing I would love more
than to make you smile

there is some sadness too;
I often await a benediction from your mouth
but instead I simply hear
“Good night”
which is still okay, because
that is more than most people say to me,
but I would love it if you would tell me why
you want me to have a
good night.

I do wonder if my benedictions
make you smile
and perhaps
one day I will know